מתתיהו

I probably amn’t ready for what is coming. I have known it was coming, indeed, I have probably turned one of those blind eyes, but you can’t fight City Hall.

This weekend past, I got a Facebook friend request from my polymathic eldest. Now, do I wish to know that his status isn’t single, and rather ‘in a relationship’? (This was told to me, I didn’t look.) But it did get me to thinking. First thoughts first. He is a good lad, but heading towards, if not already at, that age. Which, in these days, means he spends all his time hanging around on MSN corners rather than the street version. I don’t wish to be Embarrassing Dad, but you tend to not be able to help it. When there are a gaggle of girls out the front door (I reckoned about half a dozen) how do you get a look when you are laughing at the thought?

Open front door, let mental puppy dog head out, go after him and call him back. Sneaky trick number one. But there were too many of them, so I have no idea whom he is courting. Second male child, at the same school, isn’t much of a spy. Tcah.

But even so I don’t think it wise that I be on his friend list. It just wouldn’t work in lots of ways. What he says, what his friends say to him, what I say (Cassandra says my status is often about bewbz, heels and chickery. As if), what others say to me. Best kept apart.

The main thing, as ever, is in my perception. In my head I am still young, even if the aching body says otherwise. You are only as old as the woman you feel, which, alas, makes me older than my years. (You see? Not the sort of line you would want your son to be reading. For both our sakes.) I guess it really is me who is not ready for this. You can watch them grow, you nuture and feed them, try to make them think for themselves, to cope with all around, to be sensible, honest, capable and secure, but how do you prepare yourself when all this pays off?

He is a fine lad, with a wit and intelligence on him, but can’t quite outfox his old man. Yet. Age and experience beat youth and a bad haircut everytime. Quite the social life he has, lots of friends, lots of activities, lots going on. I guess I shouldn’t get mixed up in some parts of his life, as it is his life. Even if accepting the invitiation would mean I could keep a closer eye on it, it wouldn’t be fair.

So I declined his request.

And I am not even thinking about what will happen when my wee girl gets to a similar age…

Staring at the sea