Let me tell you a story, of my (perhaps) brush with international hackers who fund terrorism, eat babies and don’t play well with others.

Over the last few days, there have been reports that evil geniuses have attacked and dismantled NI’s governmental IT infrastructure. (Overly dramatic, but hey, I am telling a tale here.)

So, you are an international man of mystery, a veritable Interweb Colossus, with time on your hands. You are a hunted TERRIST, an evil criminal mastermind with plans of world domination swirling in your big brane. You are a wanted felon, with schemes and dreams of making mucho moolah for youself. You are all these things and more. And you are one plan away from your endpoint. But what plan do you hatch? What grotesque machination will emanate from the cesspool of your imagination?

Another 26 million bank job? Another high profile kidnapping?

No. Nothing as exciting as that.

Perhaps you are a wannabe Mitnick. Perhaps the thrill of taking down critical services is what you live for. Perhaps it is just that, there is no financial or political reasoning at all. Perhaps you are just wanting to prove a bias from the local government officials and their home extensions.

Perhaps it is all of that, or none.

Imagine, just for a minute, you were investigating something, and with the POWER OF COMPUTERS you get freely available information. Imagine, just for a minute, that you go get this information, parse it, and store it in a database. Think of the power you now have. Think of the fame. Think of the….hang on. Getting freely available information, parsing it then munging it into some other form? Imagine you got others involved in your quest, using your charm, wit and verve to persuade them of the greater good.

Imagine, just for a minute, an IT department so inept that if they spot files being downloaded from their site they see it as an attack. Imagine, just for a minute, the scare language and spin put on this by the clueless IT managers. Imagine all this. It could happen. In a world just like yours, in a country just like yours, in a town just like yours. Thank the Powers That Be that they are taking away all our liberties to keep us safe in our placid consumeristic slumber. Thank the Powers That Be that they know best and tell us how, what and when to think.

But most of all, remember the hackers. If you spot one of your friends misusing cron, inform the authorities. Your country needs you to spy on your friends. In Soviet Russia, cron runs you.

None of this happened.

Peace out.

  1. I knew him before he went bigtime.

    Wed 13 Feb, 11:19AM

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